Just call me Debbie Downer

I read over the hasty post I made yesterday and realized that I was definitely seeing our over-flowing glass as practically empty....sorry for being lame. Thank you, though, to those who left kind, encouraging messages--it helped so much.

WARNING: LOOOONG RAMBLE AHEAD

After talking to my parents, sister, friends and our kids (although there were tears), I am feeling much better about things. What confuses me the most about my initial reaction to the news is that I have never really lived close to my immediate family since being married and as long as we're in the military, there won't be many opportunities for it. I think that my family had talked about the possibility of us moving to WA for so long, that we almost believed it was for sure, before the military had even made a decision....bad idea.

I think what was making me the most discouraged was not only all the questions this new information still left unanswered, but the number of additional questions it created. Whether or not to sell or rent our house, where to have our baby, when to move, what house to buy, who to call when I need help and Joe is in Virginia and I have 4 kids (1 infant) and 6 new schedules. It's the unknown that scares me the most, I think. If I knew our house was selling in 2 months, making it easier for us to buy a house in NC and I knew whether or not to have the baby before we left and we knew which house we were going to buy and blah, blah, blah...

But then I remember. It's been a while (3 years) since we've really been a part of a military community and anyone who has been knows that my last question is the most ridiculous of all. Being a part of the military and our church, together, makes my concerns about doing things on my own seem almost laughable. Without being asked, a woman from the Relief Society would show up at my door with dinner or a military wife I barely knew would stop by to see if there was anything she could do to help because she knew my husband was gone. It is a way of life not everyone gets to experience, but should.

These same questions remind me of another lesson learned in this military life (a lesson I could definitely take from right now). When we arrived in Colorado, me, 5 months pregnant and Joe getting ready to deploy, there were certainly many unanswered questions--when would our baby come, would Joe see him before he left, where would we live and SO many others that seem, even now, more important and pressing than the ones I mentioned before and yet, we were completely taken care of. I had faith and put my trust completely, 110% in my Heavenly Father and EVERYTHING was taken care of. Joe's deployment was pushed back so many times that my dad asked me if I felt responsible for holding up the war on account of me wanting him there for the birth :), but 2 days before he left and 2 months after the initial deployment date, Luke was born and Joe was able to meet his first son before going off to war--a blessing we will both forever be grateful for. I learned and relearned this lesson SO many times during that year, it is amazing I seem to have already forgotten it.

Remembering what it is like to be a part of this community again and all that comes with it, has me seeing things in a different light.

I am excited for our new adventures. I am remembering the old me, the less situationally comfortable me, who loved meeting new people, seeing new places and feeling as if a move was long overdue 3 years into a duty station.

I am excited for a new home, a new atmosphere, new/more friends, new climate, new schedules, new experiences, new growth, new jobs (for Joe) and even new (or just old and unfamiliar--military) worries--KNOWING my family will be taken care of.

My kids will survive, too. In fact, I believe they will thrive, seeing knew things, meeting new people and seeing the blessings of Christ in our lives.

The future doesn't seem so grim.

In fact, it seems pretty bright.